作者: katako (異鄉久住變故鄉) 看板: joke
You have two cows. You give one to your neighbor.
You have two cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
You have two cows. The State takes both then sells you some milk.
You have two cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
You have two cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other,
and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM 傳統資本主義
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AMERICAN CORPORATION 美國企業
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
FRENCH CORPORATION 法國企業
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads,
because you want three cows.
JAPANESE CORPORATION 日本企業
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth of the size of
an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever
cow cartoon image called "Cowkimon" and market it worldwide.
牛奶。然後你設計一個乳牛造型的卡通人物叫 "Cowkimon" 並行銷全世界。
GERMAN CORPORATION 德國企業
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.
你有兩頭牛。你改造牠們，讓牠們可以活 100 年，一個月吃一次東西，
ITALIAN CORPORATION 義大利企業
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION 俄國企業
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
and learn you have two cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of Vodka.
你有兩頭牛。你數了一下， 發現你有五頭牛。你再數一次，發現你有 42 頭牛。
SWISS CORPORATION 瑞士企業
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
你這邊有 5000 頭牛，但是沒有一頭是你的。你向牛的主人們收儲存費。
IRAQI CORPORATION 伊拉克企業
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them you have none.
No one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...
AUSTRALIA CORPORATION 澳洲企業
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION 紐西蘭企業
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
(註: 紐西蘭開車要靠左邊...... 好像是因為沒其他東西可以酸吧?)
BRITISH CORPORATION 英國企業
You have two cows. Both are mad.
你有兩頭牛。兩頭都瘋了 (mad cow disease = 狂牛症)
INDIAN CORPORATION 印度企業
You have two cows. Your worship them.
CHINESE CORPORATION 中國企業
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
你有兩頭牛。你派 300 個人擠牛奶。